@Jonathan Lahijani - I love it - your comments have a very similar tone of ridiculousness that my list has :)
Firstly, I am glad you found Forklift - I use it exclusively and I actually love it for FTP because I can open files directly from a remote server into my code editor and saving the file will send it straight back to the server. Obviously the dual pane is essential, especially given the stupidness of the cut / paste situation. The other crucial thing it has for me is being able to order folders first, and then files - that is truly the dumbest thing in MacOS.
The Enter to rename drove me crazy for a while too, as did not being able to delete a file by hitting the delete key - don't even get me started on the lack of an actual delete (vs backspace) key on laptop keyboards :), but I am mostly over that now.
These days I only use the trackpad (because damn they are nice on macs - pity the magic mouse is garbage), so the acceleration stuff doesn't bother me, but I can imagine.
Oh, and yes to the window focus stuff - definitely annoying.
Another utility you should try is BetterTouchTool - it has lots of mouse / trackpad settings, along with window features like snapping, but most importantly bringing proper window maximizing (rather than full screen) with the plus icon.
Regarding having Finder first on the dock - I almost never use the dock because I have Alfred, so app launching / switching is with the keyboard. You might also like to try Hyperswitch for a more Windows like dock.
Anyway, despite all the bad UX stuff, I generally do find it much more stable and it's amazing to have not reformatted / reinstalled the OS once in 10 years. I also love the unix basis to the OS - I know there is now WSL, but it wasn't around when I was using Windows.