So, I figured it was time to post an update to this great thread. Thanks to the truly exceptional help from Bernhard, and from others including kixe, OrganizedFellow, Peter, and cstevensjr, I am on my feet with this. while I didn't exactly follow the summary that Bernhard posted in the immediately previous message, it was close enough. The site is loaded and functional! This has allowed me to begin exploring the inner workings of the site - expect me back at any time without notice!
Thanks again, guys. It was great help.