well i found the problem...
so as the child generater does everything right.
i was looking on the wrong spot.
the customer comes from a sso page linked to me.
there i am creating on the fly his institute (A) if not already in the system.
this is the what happens in order.
1 customer clicks link
2. customer sends data with his post to our sso login
3. creating the institute on the fly
4. child generater creates all subpages (2 tabs a configuration and some other stuff)
4.1 configuration gets created
4.2 tabs get created
(the konfiguration at this point does not have the reference which the institute B is!
so at this point the tabs get created without the correct info (due to my superb skillz i already cought it if no config or institute found make them unpublished)
5. configuration gets filled with the infos needed like who is my institute B
6. login
i added between 5 and 6 1 step
//find all due they might be unpublished
foreach($b->find('template=tab,include=all') as $t){
$t->setOutputFormatting(false);
$t->save();
}
now everything works as intended.
thanks for everyone who read my code and didn't told me i am a crazy scientist
good day everyone