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Client of the Day


Joss
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My client of the day is a chap for whom I did a couple of banners to run when Double Click was very first launched - 1996? Something like that.

It seems he never got round to using them until now but cannot find the CD.

He would apreciate it is I could run a new copy for him - he is not prepared to pay.

NO I BLOODY WELL CANT!

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Please feel free to post YOUR client of the day.....

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Not a client of the day, but something similar to Mozzarella:

 
A man stands in the ice cream parlor and looking at a dog of breed Dalmatians. When asked what sort of ice cream he wants, he says: "Dalmatians" but want say "Straciatella".

dalmatiner.jpg

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One of the studios I used to work in had a very large and unusually bright control room with a high ceiling and big, victorian windows.

In the middle of the control room was a huge recording desk with a quite stupid amount of channels, buttons, potentiometers and flashing lights.

Following a couple of years of inane comments I put a big sign on the wall which read:

"Yes, I do know what every knob does and no, it is nothing like Concorde"

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Okay, got to go for a name drop here.

I was working on the final soundtrack for the video release of Cameron MacKintosh's live show, "Hey, Mr Producer" (Brilliant show, by the way)
 

It had been a difficult job - David, who had been mixing the music tracks, had had to get a few of the stars back in to redub their bits .... in tune!

We were getting close to deadline and because of the remixes, I had only just received the last tracks and was resyncing them to the picture and rebuilding the audience sound track.

Cameron's PA phoned. "Cameron says for you to do an all nighter to get it finished."

I replied, "I can't do that as I have another session in the morning - I need to have had some sleep."

PA: "You realise who Cameron is and how rich he is?"

"I still can't - doing sound on no sleep is unfair to the client."

"So, who is the other client that is so much more important than Cameron MacKintosh? Can we pay them off?"

"We are recording an interview with the chairman of Microsoft."

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. So I added:

"Would you like their phone number or shall we reconvene tomorrow afternoon?"

Even being rich and famous is relative.

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Do you guys know the site "Clients from hell" ? It has similar stories from (web)-developers and designers all over the world, funny and recognisable stories and situations at times :)

http://clientsfromhell.net/

Thoroughly enjoying that site - it does remind me of some silly requests I have had in sound studios over the years.

*

"Can we have the sound of headlights sweeping across a window?"

*

"I need a background atmosphere of two people sitting on a sofa."  To which I replied, "doing what?"

*

"Can we lower the first violins slightly?" The radio producer/client asked me after I had played back a recently discovered, unbelievably rare mono recording of Dmitri Shostakovich conducting one of his OWN works in Moscow when he was young. The recording had been brought to me by a friend who was acting as an archivist for a library of recordings that had been kept hidden away by the Soviets. He thought it would suit this programme.

"I cant lower the strings in an already mixed recording," I pointed out. "And anyway, even if I could, I don't think it would be right to do so."

"Trust me," said the vain producer. "I know a lot more about Shostakovich than who ever that idiot is who is conducting!"

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My client of the day had a little problem with handling Processwire.

He just wanted to delete a picture on a page but he ended up on deleting the whole page and it's sub pages.

All glory to the trash and the ability to restore pages.

Not so long and I will have to install teppo's version control module solely as precaution for "accidentally" deleted content.

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I'm not sure. From what he told me I can only imagine that he had some kind of blackout.

Somehow his actions led him to the delete tab and he thought that he should confirm the deletion of the picture there.

I can't comprehend that but you know there is always a special kind of users out there,

like those managing to format their harddrives and being clueless afterwards (=> wth just happened).

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...like those managing to format their harddrives and being clueless afterwards (=> wth just happened).

Someone I work with was busily deleting files fro the Windows folder one day to free up space because "they didn't seem to be anything he recognised as being relevant".

Same chap also had his laptop on a boat on a sailing holiday and it got soaked when a big wave came over the side.

I constantly threaten him with his next laptop being one of these:

post-1-0-95923600-1397728509_thumb.jpg

:)

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Oh, water on electrics!

That was a constant problem with recording desks - they don't like cups of tea being spilt on them, or worse still, cola!

Years ago, with an ancient analogue desk, a band went out for lunch, accidently knocking over a full bottle of coke on their way passed. Over lunch it flooded most of the desk. then dried leaving a sticky residue over all the circuit boards. It took 5 of us a week to take the entire desk apart, wash all the boards in warm water and then gently dry them with hair dryers set on on cool.

The record company was charged full rate for or every minute of it!

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Though I've just told my client's boo-boo, I did very recently tip an entire cup of tea all over one of these: http://www.logitech.com/en-gb/product/illuminated-keyboard-k740?crid=26

The keypresses just aren't what they used to be - smooth and quiet has turned into a bit clicky, but at least they stopped sticking after a few days!

Marginally cheaper than Joss' recording desk but I was still annoyed with myself.

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